Fear

Fear (of the Lord)

In Texas, we get two big seasonal shifts per year. Summer announces itself with oppressive heat and winter langours in cold, wet, dismal, dreariness that makes one long again for the triple digit baking that is August. In between those dramatic extremes we get a smattering few weeks of spring and a few blessed weeks of autumn. And perhaps it’s the fleeting nature of our seasonal experience here that makes fall feel especially schizophrenic. Much of October seems to gear up to the “spooky season” and even if you’re not a fan of the macabre it’s hard to avoid the ubiquity of skeletons and scarecrows that call attention to the frivolous frights of Halloween. But the moment the clock strikes midnight on the dread day itself, all of the jack o’lanterns switch back to pumpkins in a Cinderella like transformation for Thanksgiving. We hop from ghoulish to gratitude in the blink of an eye and seemingly without a second’s thought. And at some level, despite the incongruity, this seems appropriate. But the mistake comes from treating the two equally.

Psychological research (and “Crazy” Joe Davola from Seinfeld) states that fear is our most primal emotion. It is deeply rooted in the brain and acts as a warning system to direct our body away from potential harm. Part of what makes the frights so fun around Halloween is the free adrenaline rush we get from short scares far removed from any actual risk. But simply put, fear is easy. It is a natural reaction to surroundings, many times manifesting itself absent any conscious effort. Gratitude on the other hand takes work. Gratitude rarely, if ever, comes naturally. Gratitude stands in stark contrast to the culture around us, and asks us to look beyond our most pressing concerns. It necessitates stepping out from our own egocentric worldview and demands we consider others and our own limitations. Gratitude shrinks us, fear only inflates our own self-importance. And we celebrate one directly after the other. It’s bizarre.

There is a progression there if one chooses to see it. Fear should call our minds to a lacking or a weakness. We can then be grateful once the moment passes that the worst of our imaginings did not come to fruition. This can then call to mind all that we are indeed blessed with, which can even lead to joy which, following our monthly celebrations, should point us directly the way to Christmas. And while one can appreciate the utility of the first step (fear) I struggle to understand its necessity or purpose in a walk of faith. Should a pilgrim ever feel fear? To be sure there is a distinction between preparedness and paranoia. But let’s use these examples to examine. First, when Jesus sent out the Twelve to “proclaim the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick.” (Luke 9:2b) He gave them instructions and led off with the following: “He told them ‘Take nothing for the journey–no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.’” (Luke 9:3) This was a study in faith. Again, later on, Jesus selected 72 of His followers and did the same, this time sending them out two by two and instructed them, “Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road” (Luke 10:3-4) Repeated the instruction to take nothing with them. Sounds simple enough, but here’s the added wrinkle. After the last supper and directly after predicting Peter’s betrayal comes this, “Then Jesus asked them, “When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?” “Nothing,” they answered. He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one. It is written: ‘And he was numbered with the transgressors’ (Isaiah 53:12); and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me. Yes, what is written about me is reaching its fulfillment.” The disciples said, “See, Lord, here are two swords.” “That’s enough!” he replied.” (Luke 22:35-38)

Why the seeming contradiction? In fact there seems to be even more conflict, because that very night, Peter took a sword that’d been just shown off and cut off the ear of a servant in the mob that came to arrest Jesus. “‘Put your sword back in its place,’ Jesus said to him, ‘for all who draw the sword will die by the sword’” (Matthew 26:52) There is an argument that the quote from Jesus, “That’s enough!” in Luke is an exclamatory statement not a definitive one. That He was closing the discussion instead of making a statement on the utility of two swords being enough for 12 soon to be dispersed people. This suggests a more figurative note that suggests that “sell your cloak and buy one” is more of a warning. That the dangers you face will not be environmental, but human. All in the closing moments of Jesus’ time with His disciples that side of the tomb. And while their time left together counted in minutes rather than hours or days, Jesus was trying to prepare them for what was coming next. Not to be afraid, but prepared.

“For we live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7) The note Paul writes here calls our attention to living not by the body, an “earthly tent” that is to be destroyed, but by something more. It is suggested that when one sense is denied, the others increase to compensate. To live “not by sight” is not a call to willful blindness. It is to trust something more than even our eyes. The lack of reliability in eyewitness testimony should disabuse us of trusting merely our senses to explain the world around us. Elizabeth Loftus is one of the most prominent scientists in the world in the field of memory research and has been laboring diligently since the 1970’s to prove just how malleable our minds can be when retaining facts. But I’ve found Christopher Nolan movie quotes to be more instructive, “Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They’re just an interpretation, they’re not a record, and they’re irrelevant if you have the facts.” (Memento) All to answer the skepticism about religion requiring blindness. Relying solely upon your own cognizance is stupefyingly blinding. The next time you meet someone, look directly into their eyes. Even briefly. Recognize that behind them rests a soul that aches, a mind that searches, and a heart that yearns, and then tell yourself how much you really see of this world. It’s next to nothing. Walking by faith and not by sight expands your understanding of the world by firstly removing you from the center of it! But importantly, for our larger theme, it is done fearlessly. Fear is a mirror. It reflects the time and community in which it is found. Every country has its own horror “mythology” and every age is spooked by something different. For the faithful fear is a mirror without a reflection.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10b) The call to follow Christ cannot be answered timidly. To experience the fullness of life, you cannot have one foot in the grave, you are called completely beyond it. As we leave behind the silly scares of October and lean into a “season” of thanksgiving it is helpful to keep all this in mind. For the Christian there is nothing to fear and everything to be thankful for, we recognize all of it as a munificent gift from a loving Creator. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (Psalms 24:1) And He gave it to us. To you. “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.’” (Luke 2:10) Fear is a contagion, it spreads amongst the people like a wildfire. So is gratitude, and arguably even more so is joy. What will flow out into the world through you? Fear may be our most “primal” emotion, but the lesson from the Garden onwards is to rise above our baser instincts. Being a Christian requires more. “Rejoice always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) The instructions are there, our rationale is clear, our mission is abundant! Our memory is irrelevant if we have the facts, according to good ol’ Leonard Shelby noted above. We have no question of the facts in this case. So our memory, our fears, our perspectives don’t really count for much. Texas has some wildly shifting seasons, people do too. But God has no need to wait upon the seasons, neither do you.

Jordan Williamson